Change Starts Here

I started this self-esteem blog to make women of color feel better about themselves. Too many of us settle for less because we don't think we can have it all. I hope these blog posts will help you realize you can have it all and so much more.

If you have any topics you think would be beneficial or questions, press the "ask" button above or e-mail confidencehappens@gmail.com.

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Who Are You, Really?

Posted 2 years ago

I talk a lot. I talk fast. I’m pretty shy around people I don’t know, but I warm up easily. I always say what I’m thinking, which usually ends up being perceived as rude. I don’t believe in being politically correct. I hate to be wrong, but I try to admit it when I am. I think all the world’s problems can be solved by truly loving one another. I hate waking up on Tuesdays for my 8:30 class and I’ve wanted to be the editor of Seventeen since I was 15 years old.

That’s who I am. And I have the pleasure, and sometimes disdain, of knowing these things.

A lot of women don’t know who they are. We go around saying we have traits that we don’t because we haven’t really taken the time to know the person inside. When you’re 40, you don’t want to be the woman who has a mid-life crisis when she realizes she doesn’t know who she is.

That’s what your 20s are for—figuring out who you are and using that information to get to where you want to be. And if you don’t like something about yourself (ex. you can’t take criticism), then you can work on changing it. But make sure you’re only changing for you. If I’d listened to people who told me to “watch your mouth,” I’d be someone I don’t love or respect.

After you’ve been faced with certain situations, think about how you handled yourself. Did you like that confrontation with your friend or was is your worst nightmare? Did you get too dramatic about your teacher’s constructive criticism? Are you really a lot messier than you thought?

When you discover those things, embrace them. Love them. No real change can come without acceptance of what you have.

After you’ve discovered who you are, you can work toward finding your niche in this world. It’s almost impossible to succeed when you don’t know your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you don’t like children, you probably shouldn’t take the assignment that requires working at the children’s hospital. But if you like animals, you should take the assignment that would allow you to work with the zoo.

It sounds corny, but you are one-of-a-kind. No one in this world is exactly like you. This year, work on discovering everything that makes you unique and share it with the world.

You may not like everything you discover, but you will love yourself more.