Change Starts Here
I started this self-esteem blog to make women of color feel better about themselves. Too many of us settle for less because we don't think we can have it all. I hope these blog posts will help you realize you can have it all and so much more.
If you have any topics you think would be beneficial or questions, press the "ask" button above or e-mail confidencehappens@gmail.com.
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I’ve been put in a lot of positions lately where I have had to defend my “Blackness.”Apparently because I haven’t felt the need to learn to cornrow hair, love shopping at the GAP and understand Tyler Perry’s reasons for using Madea in his movies, I’m not Black.
Honestly, these comments bother me. I don’t think “Blackness” exists. I think it’s an artificial concept based on stereotypes that were created to pigeon-hold Black people and prevent them from becoming individuals.
If I were to listen to these critics, I’d become someone who was nowhere near who I am. I don’t want that for my life and I don’t want that for yours.
Be who you are. Forget the critics. Listen to whatever music you like, wear whatever you like, watch whatever you like on television. Don’t give up yourself because you know people who don’t think you fit this idea of “Blackness.”
If the critics are right, a Black woman wears weave all the time, only wears tight clothes, speaks incorrect English and hates movies that don’t resemble “Stomp the Yard.”
Loving your race is about so much more than “Blackness.” It’s about remembering what Black people have accomplished and realizing the fight isn’t over. It’s about loving your brown skin. It’s about making sure you and your Black peers know that no matter what anyone says, they are just as smart and have just as many possiblities as people from any other race.
People had it right a long time ago: Black is beautiful. It comes is millions of different shapes, sizes and personalities; and its beauty always stays.
My music playlist may have Kings of Leon mixed in with Maxwell. Most of my clothes may all be loose-fitting and from Old Navy. And, no, I do not know how to braid hair (and may never learn). But, even though it took a lot of time, I’m OK with all those things because that’s who I am. You should be OK with the things that make you different from the stereotypes, too.
Don’t try to make yourself resemble what others want you to be.
No matter what the critics say, Black is always beautiful—no matter what form it takes.
The woman pictured is singer-songwriter, Janelle Monae. Her look and some of her music may defy “Blackness,” but she embraces who she is and appreciates how many Black musicians paved the way, so that she could have a chance. You can listen to her music here.
