Change Starts Here

I started this self-esteem blog to make women of color feel better about themselves. Too many of us settle for less because we don't think we can have it all. I hope these blog posts will help you realize you can have it all and so much more.

If you have any topics you think would be beneficial or questions, press the "ask" button above or e-mail confidencehappens@gmail.com.

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Divided We Fail

Posted 2 years ago

When the news about Chris Brown abusing Rhianna came out, I shed a tear for all women. It may be old news to most of you, but it helped me realize how women don’t stick by one another in the worst of situations.

After the news came out, I was getting invited to groups in support of Chris Brown. After I tagged some of my friends in a Facebook note, in which I gave them the link to the Chris Brown/Rhianna police report, they still said Rhianna gave him a sexually transmitted disease. When he plead guilty to felony assault, they decided that as long as his music is good, they were going to stick behind him.

Why can’t we be behind one another?

Women have unique experiences that should bring us together instead of pulling us apart. When one of us experiences abuse, or any other hardship, at the hands of someone we trust, excuses shouldn’t be made. Support should be given.

I know we can never know anyone’s situation unless we are in it, but we have the capacity to discern right from wrong.

Women have historically been treated as second-class citizens, especially Black women. We keep ourselves in that position every time we talk behind one another backs, spread rumor and ignore another woman’s problems if they do not effect our lives.

I’m not telling you to go out and help every downtrodden woman you see, although it would be nice, but you should at least uplift the women you know. Believing you can achieve things can be hard, especially if you are a Black women in college trying to break through stereotypes in order to reach your goals. It helps to have women around you who not only believe you can succeed, but who tell you.

One woman’s challenges should be treated as our own. If there is nothing we can do about things directly, we should respect their hardship and do what we can to help make sure that as few women as possible have to go through her situation again.

If you still decide to listen to Chris Brown, that’s fine, but don’t let one of your friends stay in an abusive relationship or settle for less than they deserve in life.

We’re all connected and we have to remember that whenever one of us is down, it effects us all.